In this column, we explore the similarities between the greatest social networking site ever and probably the best TV show ever*. And there are striking similarities, mostly because we're going to make them striking for the purposes of this column.
As a word of warning, if you haven't seen Breaking Bad, you won't have a clue what this column is on about, though we would encourage you to go and watch it (Netflix is your cheapest option now). And if you haven't heard of Facebook we give up.
So here we go:
1. Mark Zuckerberg is highly intelligent: Walter White was described by brother-in-law Hank in series 5 as "the cleverest person [he's] ever met". (OK, so we're off to a good start.)
2. Zuckerberg has created the best social network: Walter White created the purest crystal meth ever seen.
3. Facebook's branding is blue: White's signature dish of crystal meth was also blue. (Though it has to be stated that Facebook's blue is considerably darker.)
4. In the film The Social Network, Zuckerberg was depicted as a bit of an odd ball: In Breaking Bad, Walter White turned into a complete megalomaniac odd ball.
5. Facebook is a highly-addictive online service: Crystal meth is a highly addictive drug**.
6. Facebook users are on the site for an average of over 1 hour per day: Crystal meth provides a high** that lasts... got to be honest here I'm struggling with this one. The best I can offer up is how long ibuprofen extra strong can take extreme pain away for***.
7. Zuckerberg started Facebook in the hope of generating enough money to buy an apartment: Walter White got into making crystal meth to provide for his family following the discovery of his terminal illness.
8. Zuckerberg started Facebook in the hope of generating enough money to buy an apartment: White was able to buy a condo after he was thrown out by Skylar (Mrs White) when she became increasingly frustrated with his transition from loving husband and high school chemistry teacher, to homicidal drug lord.
9. Zuckerberg created a social network originally for Harvard alumni: White's initial distribution network was the streets of Albuquerque, US.
10. Zuckerberg developed the social network with friends Eduardo Saverin, Andrew McCollum, Dustin Moskovitz and Chris Hughes: White's early crystal meth distribution network relied on Jessie's friends Badger, Combo and Skinny Pete.
11. Zuckerberg pissed off most of his friends: White pissed off anyone he came into contact with.
12. Zuckerberg ended up in a legal battle against his friends: White ended up being shot at, having guns pointed at him, having the crap beaten out of him, etc.
13. Zuckerberg has a vision of a connected world that could damage the business models of mobile operators: White had a business model that just damaged anyone or thing he connected with.
OK, so the similarities are somewhat tenuous, but you can't blame us for trying. We were just combining two of the biggest things we've done in the 10 days: complete our viewing of Breaking Bad, and seeing the Zuckerberg keynote at MWC on Monday. You can read our full (and serious) write-up of the Zuckerberg interview here.
For the record, Zuckerberg is "very good" and Walter White "very bad".
And to leave you, we thought you might want to play "Where's Zucky". Can you see him in our picture from inside the auditorium on Monday?
*Not just our view, but the TV critics, the interweb (see here) and most people that have watched the whole series.
***3 hours, but that was with antibiotics.